As I start the New Year, like every year, I often ponder my life and what new goals, trials, and tribulations lay ahead for me. I think back upon the year and ask myself: did I stick to my goals? Did I follow my passion? Did I make that one important decision that would have changed my life forever? What may have gotten in the way of these life-changing events? What were the sticking points or roadblocks that I didn’t see coming which eventually “owned me” instead of me owning them?
As I do this mental dance in my head, I find myself playing a little bit of a self-deception game, in which the things that did not work out well for me where someone else’s fault. Amazing, isn’t it? I find neat and interesting ways of blaming others for what did not “go my way” in 2018. And somehow, it falsely makes me feel good for not accomplishing my goals or following my passion. You see, I blame others for what I didn’t do to honor myself. I realize I’m lying to myself.
I found ways to blame outside forces for why I didn’t lose those extras pounds, or why I didn’t get up early with my wife and go to the gym despite knowing full well that if I did that my day would be much more fulfilling and that I would have more time to do those things that matter most to me. I found ways to blame others or other outside forces for me not taking a chance on a new job or position or following up on my Ph.D. Not eating healthier, knowing that a big piece of chocolate cake would just hit the spot. The blame game starts when I tell myself, “it shouldn’t have been there in the first place,” or my favorite, “I’ll get up early tomorrow and run it off.” Yeah, right!
Not all is doom and gloom. I did find that when I honored my inner self and stopped blaming the past or others for my shortcomings and poor decisions I found joy just around the corner. Crazy, huh? I realized if I didn’t blame others that I wasn’t the victim anymore. Let me do the common sense test here. Let’s see; don’t blame others, not the victim, see life clearly = joy and happiness. Who knew?
So, as we all go into 2019, let’s first start off with honoring ourselves. Let’s stop making other people blameworthy so we can use them as an excuse for us not achieving our goals in 2019. This is one of the cornerstone principles I teach my clients. If you need to blame others or find yourself in some small way labeling, blaming, or judging others then you just became a victim and we all know that are a lot of “victims” walking among us. So, smile, ponder your life, and see others as people just like you: fallible, a little screwed up, human, imperfect, and just trying to find there bliss as well. And remember, nothing exists until you label it, blame it, or own it. Stay focused, never give up, and keep your goals in your heart. You’ll get there in time.
Have an awesome 2019.
Jack Perry www.sourcepointcoaching.com