Setting goals for our life is something we all must master if we want to be better and build a better life for ourselves. In this episode, Jack breaks down how to set goals for your life and what we need to gain or let go to create goals that will push ourselves.
When setting your goals, there is a lot that can hold us back and cause us to not push ourselves. Limiting beliefs can result in goals that don’t bring out our full potential.
Learn how you can set goals that align with your life while bringing out your full potential to give you the life you truly want.
Setting goals for your life transcript
Hey, this is Jack Perry with your podcast. Hey listen, um, you know, when I work with, with clients and, and we start working on, uh, goals, one of the first things I always want to ask them says, what is it that’s uh, that’s you’re passionate about? What is it that you want to work on? What is it that really gets your juices going and get you rocking and rolling? And a lot of people have a difficult time defining that and putting that down into words and actually putting it on paper and refining it. You know, the broader it is that more difficult it is to achieve that particular goal that you want to get. But the more you refine it and define it and get it down to maybe you know, just one from just one sentence, maybe you had a whole paragraph and you get it down to three sentences and you get down to one sentence, then you start to narrow down and focus down into what is it that you want to achieve in your life and w what your goal is.
My Gosh, I’ve gone through that. I’ve gone through that where I wanted to, you know, save the world, I wanted to coach everything. I wanted to do everything. And then finally you realize, man, you start, you get sick and tired of, of trying to do everything and then you realize that you’re hurting yourself both mentally, physically, and emotionally, and you’re trying to put 20 pounds of garbage into a five pound bag and it just doesn’t work. Life doesn’t work that way. So I found that if I ponder an idea or ponder something that just keeps coming back over and over again, it’s a thought. It’s a feeling. It’s something that comes up in your heart that over and over again that says, you know, I’ve got a calling to do this. I’ve got a calling, I’ve got to, I’ve got to to to do this.
I’ve got to move forward. I’ve got to take the risk. I’ve got to get moving with this. Otherwise I will feel incomplete and I’ll feel like I haven’t left the legacy. Like I, I haven’t, I haven’t fulfilled a dream or a desire that set’s been sitting in my life. Maybe it’s been there since you were a child or maybe when you were a teenager or maybe when you were going to become an adult. And we see things differently as we get older. And then we start redefining and re seeing things differently in our lives and what turns out to be most important to us. So the first things we want to do when we talk about that is where do we want to see ourselves? And maybe a month or six months or even a year in pursuing that particular goal. Once we have to find out that, define that goal we want to look at and see what does success look like, what’s it going to look like even, what’s it going to taste like?
Who’s going to be around us, what’s going to be around us, where will we be? How will we be dressed? We’re gonna visualize it. We’re gonna have it so visual in our minds that we can taste it and almost it see the atmosphere and where we are going to be. You know, once we do that, we want to write, write it down and take it and just write it down, as I said earlier, and that’s what makes things so important to us. We want to make sure that we focus our time and energy on the right things. Okay? Once we have done that, sometimes things get in our way. Life events get in our way, stuff gets in our way. Life gets in our way and sometimes we have, we call and I like to call limiting beliefs, limiting thoughts, things that get in our way and stop us from pursuing what our deepest desires and deepest dreams are in life.
One of those is what I called the little Gremlin, the Gremlin. Have you ever tried to move forward with something or to try to succeed in something and a little voice in the back of your head just says, nope, no you’re not. You’re not going to know. You’re not going to do it. Jack, you’re not going to move forward. And then you stay where you’re at and you take another step to move out of your comfort zone. And all of a sudden a little voice goes, no, no, you’re not. And that little voice kind of just sits there. It may be a voice that you’ve learned when you’re a small child or, or a young man, or maybe it was a young woman and maybe it was an incident or incident or an accident or something that took place in your life that just imprinted in your brain that became part of your reality. And that little voice, that little Gremlin I like to call, it keeps creeping up. Every time you try to move forward. We want to silence that Gremlin. And one of the ways in which you silenced that Gremlin is saying to you is, is saying to it and looking at it as if you just turn towards it and look at it and say, you, I don’t need you in my life anymore. You don’t belong here anymore. Thank you for showing up. Thank you for what you taught me, but I do not need you in my life anymore. And you just simply dismiss it because the more you fight it, the stronger it’s going to get. Just let it go, dismiss it and let it go away. The other thing that may get in our way is we make assumptions. We make assumptions that because something weird, strange or unusual happened to us in the past that we can’t move forward with our dream or with our goal because we assume what happened in the past is going to happen to us again.
Or we make assumptions that what we see on the news or we hear other people saying, oh, we read it in the newspaper is going to happen to us. We assume it’s going to happen to us and that can also hold us back as well. Ladies and gentlemen, I’ll tell you right now, that is not true. It’s a fallacy. That is a fallacy. 90% of the crap that we think is going to happen to us never ever happens to us. So that assumption is an inaccurate, inadequate and let it go. The assumption, just like the Gremlin, you say, just because it happened before does not mean it’s going to happen again. I choose to let you go. I do not need you. Another thing that may get in the way and by limiting ourselves and pursuing our goals is something we call an interpretation.
As we interpret things, it’s the way we see things or interpret our life through the eyes of other people. It may be that you read something in a book. It could be that everybody spends so much time and energy on looks on makeup, on how my body’s supposed to look and how my legs are supposed to look and how others are there. Parts of my life are supposed to look. We interpret that as being our reality. We interpret that as being, that’s the way life is. Ladies and gentlemen, that’s a total bunch of BS. It is not. So sometimes the way we interpret things we believe is our reality. And when we do that, we stop ourselves from being the best of who we were meant to be when we showed up on this earth. And it’s through those limiting beliefs, those interpretations that stop us from achieving our goals and leaves us frustrated.
And when it leaves us frustrated, we live a life of quiet desperation. We sort of live in the shadows, we sort of live in the darkness and that’s not what we’re going to be because you’re not that type of person. And you know how I know you’re not the type of person because you’re listening to this bog and broadcast on how to achieve your goals. And the last thing we have is what I call our limiting beliefs. A limiting belief is something that you may have learned from somebody else that has been very influential in your life. Somebody that’s influential. It could even be a cartoon character for Heaven’s Sake. It could be that. It could be that, um, that a limiting belief could be from your father or somebody that you are revered, somebody that you looked up at as a hero, somebody that you looked at as being somebody of authority.
And they said that and they could have said something as ridiculous as, well, I’m African American and somebody one day said black people can’t fly. Well, that’s a bunch of crap. Look at the Tuskegee airmen. Okay. So that was the limiting belief. If I had believed that that would have been a limiting belief that black people can’t fly, which is a total bunch of bunk. A limiting belief could be that if you’re five foot two, that you can’t be a model. That’s, that’s a limiting belief. And so if you believe, which is not true, so if you believe that you make that part of your life and you live that, that all of a sudden you’re going to start seeing yourself as being limited because of your height or your weight or because your skin color or because of where your demographics or your culture or where you live and you start seeing as a real reality, you are limiting yourself and achieving your goals and achieving your greatness in life. That is a limiting belief. Limiting beliefs can be beaten by simply reframing, re-looking and looking at the, the, the limiting belief again and asking yourself this one question, is it 100% true? Is what that person just told me? 100% true. Is it 100% provable? And if they say to no, it’s not, then ladies and gentlemen it ain’t true. It’s not a true belief, but sometimes we take these things as being our reality and they become a limiting belief to us. And that’s what holds so many great people back. So we want to get rid of those limiting beliefs. And that’s where a good coaching comes in. Okay, so now we’ve talked about deciding what our goal is, what we want to achieve, where we want to go, what we want to do, what feeds our heart, what feeds our soul, what feeds our spirit.
And now we’ve written it down and we say, this is me. This is how I’m going to show up. This is my life. And every time one of those limiting beliefs starts to come into your mind. You say, thank you for showing up. I don’t need you anymore. And you let it go. You dismiss it. And the more difficult the challenge is for you, the harder you want to try. And just remember those limiting beliefs, those assumptions, those interpretations that you have made for yourself, they may just get a little bit stronger. They may just keep on trying to nag at you and poke at you a little bit. But you just kinda laugh at them. Go, no, you don’t have me. I have you, I have you. So once you’ve written that down and we’ve gotten past our limiting beliefs, we want to start having a plan.
We want to write down a plan. We want to write down. Today is the day that I start living my life the way I want to start living it. And so we, we start off at day one, whatever the day is that you’re listening to this go someplace quiet, go someplace you’re not interrupted and write down, this is who I am, this is how I want to show up and this is where I’m going to go and give yourself an end date. Now that could be a sliding date because sometimes life happens and things get in the way. People come and go in our lives, people gain lose jobs, different things start to happen. But we don’t ever want to take our eyes off that goal line of moving forward. But just make sure we can slide that date left and right every once in awhile.
So once we’ve written everything down and we have our end date in sight, we want to give small little goals each and every day that we can do to achieve our goal and get us moving forward towards that goal. If you want to start running a marathon and you’ve never ran a marathon before in your life, well I don’t suggest you start out tomorrow and start trying to run a marathon. I would say probably start offering a couple of miles or maybe even a mile or maybe if it’s that bad, maybe a hundred yards take a break or another hundred yards. But eventually over time you will get yourself trained to run a marathon. Start a 5k, do run a couple of 5ks, maybe a couple of 10ks a do that over the next two or three months. Work yourself up to work, working there, see yourself up to it, maybe a half marathon.
Do one or two of those and then work yourself up to the day a marathon. So my point is you don’t start off eating the whole elephant at one point. It’s this each little bit at a time. I never really liked that analogy, but I would say just take little slices at a time to reach your goal and never take your mind and take your eyes off the goal at once. We have done that. Give yourself a reward every time you reach when your goals and you encounter a difficulty and you, overcome that difficulty. Give yourself a little reward. Practice that. Pat yourself on the back. Give yourself a little bit of praise and, and, and, and say yourself, hey, I got this and listen, here’s a really, really cool thing about this. All those limiting beliefs I mentioned to you earlier that the assumptions or the interpretations are the limiting beliefs.
Guess what? They’re going to start to go away. They’re going to start to disappear. They’re going to start to become less important to you. They’re going to be start to become more invalid to you. They’re not going to be validated by your negative behavior. They’re going to start to go away. And that’s a really cool thing about being persistent, writing things down and having a goal. They start to go away. It’s kind of like this. If you’ve ever, uh, and I’ve actually done this, I’ve actually done this. I’m right handed and I challenged myself to start brushing my teeth with my left hand. Now, at first it was difficult, but I wonder, proved to myself that I could actually change my thought patterns in my brain, my roadmap of my brain, that I could actually start comfortably brushing my teeth with my left hand.
Do you know that after about a month and a half or so, it became so easy that even now if I grab my toothbrush with my right hand, I automatically shifted over to my left. It does work as called neuroplasticity of your brain as called neuroplasticity of your brain. And just quickly without getting too scientific on you making your brain hurt, that we all have roadmaps of habits and behaviors that are in our brain right now. Roadmaps and behaviors, you have different ways of doing things because you have been doing them so long. They are like a major highway in your brain. But as soon as you decide to take a different route and do something different, you start creating a different road. It might be a small narrow road, but after awhile when you keep doing it and doing it and doing it and it becomes a habit to you, that road gets bigger, deeper, wider and more usable to you.
That’s how change takes place. Okay. So make it a habit to do something different every single day to help you achieve your goal. Ladies and gentlemen, listen, you got this. I know you do. And if you have any questions about any of the content or any of that or any more examples that you want to share with me, get ahold of me at Jack Perry at Source Point, coaching.com. This is, this is, I’m passionate about this. This is something that I’ve, I have actually gone through myself. I have tasted this myself. I have touched this myself. I have overcome obstacles. I wrote a book about it. It’s called the other side of anger. A son’s search for peace. It’s on Amazon. And, and I’ve had to prove this to myself, that everything I tell you is something that is, is what I have lived. So you’re getting the real deal. So this is, we’re talking about today about setting goals for yourself, having a plan and achieving those goals. And what I want you to do is email me at Jack Perry@SourcePointcoaching.com. Let me know how your goals are going, how you’re achieving your goals. What does success look like for you? And I love hearing from you all. Okay? All right. You take care everybody and have a wonderful, wonderful day. Go get them.